Guilt

Until two days ago, the only things I had put into my baby’s body were a few drops of Vitamin K and breastmilk. On Thursday I allowed a nurse to pierce my baby’s skin and shove a disease into her tiny body. I cried the whole time.

The vaccine against tuberculosis had been recommended to us repeatedly once people heard we were moving to China. The hardest thing about giving this vaccine to my baby is that it takes three months for the injection site to heal and it will leave a scar. I feel so cruel. She’s coping with it all a lot better than I am.

In better news, she has a birth certificate and a passport already. I expect her to be a well-travelled child before her passport expires in five years.

She changes every day and is so much more alert now than last week. After our third attempt, she finally loves her bath. I think a combination of the right temperature, deep water and a few other tricks have helped her to feel at ease. Which is a great thing – I can’t have a water baby if she’s scared of the water.

She’s gaining weight as fast as I am losing it (yah!!) so I know the breastmilk is doing what it should. We’re so, so lucky that everything is falling in to place. Feeding is going really well, sleeping happens (no routine yet so it just happens when it happens, and sometimes for long stretches) and we can still do everything we did before she was here (though the periods of sitting and staring at our little marvel are frequent and sometimes long). So, apart from stabbing her with needles (one so far) life for all of us is pretty good!!

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4 thoughts on “Guilt

  1. LOVE the photo. Sorry to say it, but if you are immunising, there is more pain for you both around the corner. I too, don’t handle it near as well as my baby!

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