I have almost nothing left. Except a heap of junk that, I hope, Lifeline will take. I have a few messages for a number of people:
To the person who bought the bedside drawers: wearing electric blue bike shorts that are too small, without underwear underneath is NOT sensible when visiting garage sales. Can everyone now join me in a chorus of, ‘eeeewwwwwww!!!!!’
To the lady who has the autistic child and was having a sad day and needed to pour her heart out to me: I feel for you and am glad that you felt better after our chat. I hope things improve for you soon.
To the elderly lady who was unbelievably rude about the lady above, while the lady above was still within earshot: walk a mile in her shoes you inconsiderate old cow! And bring back my aloe plant – I only sold it to get rid of you and I didn’t really want to sell it in the first place.
To the lady who has the autistic child and was having a sad day and needed to pour her heart out to me (again): I apologise on behalf of the old cow.
To the man who bought the queen-size bed for $10, complained that the bed didn’t have any casters (but let’s forget the fact that it was a BED and it was TEN DOLLARS) and then tried to bully me into selling fifteen plants in nice ceramic pots, most of which were given to me as gifts for another $10, even though the plants were not for sale: I hope the bed has bed bugs.
To the guy who wanted to take the bags of cloth nappies home without paying for them because they wouldn’t be used on a child: what the hell do you think this is?????
To the girl who bought the pink high heels: I lied. They WEREN’T nice. They went out of fashion two years ago.
To the man who wanted to buy the bookcase and have it home delivered: refer to two comments ago.
To the guys who called out to me at the intersection while I was taking the signs down: no, I will NOT show you my tits.
The end result?
The signs are down.
I have this left.
I made this.